Authenticity and Fear of Public Speaking

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Authenticity is an important key for clear and effective communication, both in one to one situations and in front of groups.  If you want to be an excellent communicator, your style of communication must be genuine. 

 

Being authentic means that your outer expression matches your inner experience.  When you are authentic, you give yourself (and others)permission to express thoughts and emotions honestly.

 

Why is authenticity important?  It is because your degree of comfort is related to the degree of authenticity you allow yourself to express. That means when you are committed to being genuine, you are more relaxed and comfortable with yourself.  Conversely, your fear is locked up in your reluctance to be real. When you do not give yourself permission to be real, there will always be tension and a sense that you need to protect yourself from being “found out”.

 

Stage fright and fear of public speaking are examples of what happens when we are not willing to be authentic. The tension that happens in stage fright is partly because people feel that they can’t be real in front of groups.  They may be very comfortable speaking one to one with others because they can be genuine, but they don’t give themselves the same permission to be real in front of groups of people.  I like to say that stage fright is fear of feeling in front of folks.  Somehow, people with stage fright edit out their authentic selves when they have to speak to groups. Once, you can express your self authentically in front of others, stage fright diminishes and we feel free to share ideas, insights and expertise.

Transform Stage Fright Into Authentic Presence.

4 Comments

  1. I especially appreciate this posting on authenticity. Not only on stage, but in all communications, being real or authentic is the the key to connecting. Even in small meetings, if I begin to have a sense of being on the outside looking in at myself, I become uncomfortable and know that I am no longer genuine. I can feel that others pull away and lose trust in whatever I am talking about.

    Sandra, do you have any suggestions for how you can recover from a lapse into fear and inauthenticity during the communication effort?

    Thanks for all this useful information.

    Leslie

  2. Hello Leslie! Your question reveals your very subtle self-awareness! You are able to sense when you disconnect and start judging others. Wow! My sense is that what may be happening to you is that your sensitivity is working against you instead of for you.

    What I recommend is that you try to use your sensitivity to your benefit. The way to manage this lapse into fear is to first focus your attention on the feeling in your body. By giving yourself permission to feel what you feel, you can then ask what is missing, what are you wanting at that moment that is causing your emotions to react. Once you know what you want to have happen, you can use that internal information to simply ask for it from the group.

    For instance, you may be sensing that the group is splintering and not staying focused on the task at hand. You may notice that you are afraid the group will not accomplish it’s goal and that you may be the one who will have to pick up the slack. Once you know what you are afraid will happen, you can choose to speak from your awareness, instead of getting angry and detached. You can just ask. You might simply say, “Hey, I notice we are getting a little unfocused. Can we try to redirect our focus back to what we said we wanted to do? I am concerned we may run out of time and not get it done.”

    Once you ask for what you want, you will feel totally connected to the group again. You will have particpated fully by using your sensitivity to your benefit and to the benefit of the group.

  3. Well explained. Years ago I tried joining various speaking groups to reduce my stage fright and improve my appeal to audiences. Some stressed becoming comfortable by being myself (e.g., Dale Carnegie, Toastmasters) while others professed techniques and tricks for manipulating audiences (e.g., National Speakers Association and the city affiliates). Through it all, the emphasis on being myself was ultimately much more helpful when combined with disciplined practice and frequent experience. Alternatively, the theatrical approach seemed so inauthentic to me that even now my cynicism is evoked when I witness presenters selfishly manipulating an audience. To this day, give me honest and genuine, however unpolished, over slick and manipulative.

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