Cultivate Gravitas for Leadership Presence Course

Gravitas is a power that comes from inner authority to express your wisest thoughts for the good of the whole group. Gravitas commands attention, respect and admiration, not because it is flashy, but because it is wise and thoughtful.

Introducing a Cultivate Gravitas for Leadership Presence Course who want to learn to exude more gravitas in their leadership style to command more respect, hold other’s attention or enhance their reputation as one who is worth listening to.

Watch my video to hear about this program entitled Cultivate Gravitas for Leadership Presence. Hear me share the 5 physical factors that we integrate into your leadership communication style to embody gravitas.

Sandra Zimmer reveals the 5 Physical Factors that help leaders embody gravitas.

If you participate in this course or private coaching, you’ll be surprised that these 5 simple factors transform the way you express who you are and give you the physical and psychological components of gravitas so you feel a sense of inner authority that supports you to speak from your wisest ideas, insights and expertise.

Cultivate Gravitas for Leadership Presence is offered as a 4-session course, in private sessions and in other formats to groups and organizations. Contact Sandra Zimmer at 281-293-7070 or www.self-expression.com for information and course schedules.

 

Obstacles to Exuding Gravitas & Leadership Presence

Obstacles to exuding the quality of gravitas are some of the greatest psychological barriers that leaders and emerging leaders must conquer. Briefly, I’ll mention what leadership presence or gravitas means.  It is giving weight or importance to anything you say or do. Gravitas is the highest octave of self-confidence. Once a leader has enough self-confidence, she can deepen her impact by developing gravitas. Gravitas is a quality that a leader exudes because she chooses to say and do only what is important. Others grant her respect and pay particular attention to what she says and does because she knows that she adds weight or value to any situation in which she speaks. I have written about the factors that can be integrated to develop gravitas. Today, I write about the obstacles to exhibiting gravitas as a place to start to tackle barriers to leadership presence.

There is natural resistance to experiencing and expressing gravitas. That resistance to gravitas boils down to not fully giving value to yourself, your thoughts, feelings and knowledge.  It probably comes from a cultural belief that one should not let oneself feel too important. Parents often advise children not to be so “full of themselves”. In order to express gravitas, you must have full authority from inside your body, mind and being, meaning you must trust yourself to source answers to problems from within.

There are several obstacles to exuding gravitas that must be erased from your consciousness. First, you must give up self-judgment about your emotions, thoughts and knowledge.  Any sense of inferiority has to be rooted out so you have room in your consciousness to value all those aspects of your life. Secondly, you have to release the expectation of judgment from others. As long as you are concerned that others will judge you, you will be too tense to exhibit gravitas. Of course others will judge you, that is a fact of life; but your worry about their judgment will interfere with your ability to contribute your real value to others. You must be able to put your stake in the ground and stand up for the one thing you know and believe is best.

The third obstacle to gravitas is wanting to please others. Pleasing people will cause you to adjust your behaviors to try to give them what they want, rather than what you really have to give. No authority there. Feeling pressure from within your self and from others are the fourth and fifth obstacles to gravitas. You must learn to live without pressure, releasing pressure from within yourself to perform or respond too quickly and releasing the feeling of being pressured by others to perform or respond too quickly.

All of these obstacles to gravitas come back to not valuing your own self as a resource for others.  They all create tension mentally and physically. Tension is the enemy of gravitas. The more relaxed you become, the more you can take your time to source from within what to do and say and the more others value your contributions.

If you are seeking to develop more confidence and gravitas, please look at my article on self-talk as a place to start to tackle obstacles.

 

 

Illuminating the Public Speaking Skills of Susan B Anthony

Rashid Kapadia,  a former student and now my great friend, is an evangelist for public speaking. Rashid is an avid reader who is masterful at drawing out public speaking and presentation lessons from all kinds of books. His latest blog post brilliantly recalls how Susan B. Anthony led the United States towards social and political equality through her speaking skills.

Kapadia wonders, “… had Susan Anthony not made a commitment to acquiring expertise in public speaking and not gotten a coach, would the world be a different place today? Would our world be a less equal place today? Susan Anthony, after submitting to her dharma, harnessed the formidable power of oratory and took it to battle. Oratory was the enabler.”

Rashid Kapadia’s own book “Necessary Bridges: Public Speaking and Storytelling for Project Managers and Engineers” devotes an entire chapter to similar observations of people who changed the world through developing their public speaking skills. Rashid offers you a gift pdf version of this chapter.

Please find Rashid Kapadia’s blog post at http://www.necessarybridges.com/2015/12/leading-a-team-preparing-a-presentation-think-different-think-susan-anthony/

The beginning of a new year is a great time to ask yourself what your highest mission is and how you will use your voice and speech to inspire others. What difference can you make in the world if you enhance your speaking skills?

How This Introvert uses the Power of Letting Go to Sell and Persuade

I have been selling my group speaking, voice and leadership presence courses and coaching for decades, longer than some of you may have been alive. If you ask me what my secret is, I will tell you it is the power that comes when I detach from the outcome during a sales conversation.

Detaching from the outcome means not having to make every sale and seeking to enroll only those who are right to work with me.

In my 20s, I dated a man named Dell who was a master salesman. He had a forceful personality and never took no for an answer. In the most congenial way, Dell could keep talking to people until they bought whatever he was selling. I was awed by his sales skills, but could not do what he did. When I tried to be forceful at sales, people would back away.

In my 30s, I studied class enrollment techniques with Sandy, another masterful saleswoman. She too had an extraverted personality and just kept pushing at people until they gave in and signed up. I couldn’t do that either. I just irritated people.

What I did learn from Dell and Sandy was how to ask the right questions to find out what people really want and actually need. That is always step 1. As an introvert, I have always known how to listen. That is step 2. Once I know what people are looking for, it is pretty easy to respond and share what I do that fits their needs. That is step 3.

These 3 steps became the basis of my introverted-style sales process. However, I found that my success in selling my programs is almost completely dependent on my attitude about making the sale and whether I am pushing out energy at people or receiving in energy.

If I have the attitude that I need to make this sale; and I push energy at someone to try to convince him to sign up, he inevitably pulls back from the conversation and does not buy. If I have the attitude of detachment from the outcome and leave him free to choose what is best for him, most often he will sign up for something. When I am letting go of the outcome, people don’t feel pushed or pressured and they can choose what they want to do.

I like to explain it this way.  Human interactions work off of positive and negative poles, assertion and reception.  Think of it as yang and yin energy. The degree to which one person pushes requires the other person to pull back.  Conversely, if one person lays back and offers but stays in receptive energy, the other can come forward. This is why introverts make such great sales people! Introverts are able to receive more easily and listen deeply.

If you are not clear what an introvert is, look at these articles at FastCompany or Huffington Post

My sales style is very introverted and may not be right for everyone. It is based on:

  1. my curiosity to figure out what people really want and need
  2. my ability to clearly explain what options they have for working with me to achieve their goals
  3. my commitment to get out of their way and let them decide what is best for them.

No push, no force, no selling.

If you’d like a little more about this push/pull theory, visit my blogpost on helping people hear your messages.

Not everyone I talk with signs up as my client; but the ones who do are great to work with because they really want what I have to offer and they are delighted with what I give them. Happy clients! Happy me!

The Solution to Stage Fright is Right Here, Right Now

Stage fright is life fright. It is fear of feeling in front of other human beings. Stage fright exists in us because we can’t relax and accept what is happening in the now moment. We are resisting the feelings and thoughts that are occurring now as we get ready to speak up, speak out or speak about a topic of importance.

When we are seized up with stage fright we experience physical tension, emotional intensity and mental anxiety that combine to create an overflow of psycho-physical energy that seems overwhelming and out of control. On top of that, we don’t want anyone to know what is happening inside us!

The ultimate solution to stage fright is to learn to relax into the flow of high intensity emotional energy, accept that it is happening, make it OK to experience and be able to share your reality in the moment. When you can do all that, you can use stage fright to jump into a state of presence known as the flow state.

In my personal journey to deeper presence, I am challenged with an autoimmune condition that has damaged my thyroid.  The result of this thyroid situation is an anxiety that mirrors the stage fright anxiety I dealt with so long ago. I am working with a marvelous Tai Chi and Qigong teacher, Henderson Smith of Living Well Therapies, who is helping me overcome the challenges of this health crisis.

Henderson said that in order for things to change and heal, we have to accept life just as it is now. If we don’t accept it and relax into life as it is now, we can’t make room for the something new to be received. If the body is filled up with tension of how bad things are now and the mind is totally focused on fighting what is happening, then we can’t open to receiving the healing and all the good stuff we want to happen.

Henderson’s injunction to me was to allow the experience of the now moment, whatever it may be, so that I can relax and open to something new. His phrase to repeat is, “What would life be like if I could accept life just as it is right now?”

Henderson’s wisdom applies to stage fright and fear of public speaking. You can’t change it until you accept your own experience. If you are experiencing stage fright tension or fear of public speaking right now, feel the energy in your body.  It may be in your chest, throat, stomach. Just take some time to feel it. Then accept this moment.  Hang out with that feeling. Just let it be. Make your experience right, not wrong. You may find that if you stay with that feeling in this moment, it diminishes and maybe even dissipates. Stay with it long enough and something else may occur that you did not expect. Let me know what happens.

I teach the Zimmer Method for transforming the tension and anxiety of stage fright and fear of public speaking. It allows you to use the tension as a springboard for becoming an authentic speaker. Visit www.self-expression.com for more information. Or simply reach out and call 281-293-7070 to connect with me.

Why You Don’t Like The Sound of Your Voice & What to Do About It

Most people don’t like the sound of their voice when they hear it replayed on a recorder. As a voice and diction teacher for almost four decades, I can attest to that fact.

When Arthur Lessac trained me to teach his Lessac Voice Method, he also trained me to have a great voice. The day that I realized that I had a really beautiful speaking voice was a day that transformed my life. I will be forever grateful to Arthur!

Watch this video from Business Insider to understand why you don’t like your voice. Then, I’ll explain what you can do to learn to like your voice.

Since you hear your own voice through the bones of your head, the quality of resonance sounds richer and deeper to you than it doe to everyone else who are hearing you through air conduction alone.

What you can do to improve the resonance and tonal quality of your voice is to place the vocal vibrations of your voice onto the front of your hard palate (the boney roof of your mouth) and allow the vibrations to sympathetically vibrate into the front of your face (the mask).

For specific instructions on how to place your vocal vibrations so that your voice resonates and sounds fuller and richer, please see my blog post How to have a Good Voice for Public speaking and Group Communication.

Two Extra Steps to Prepare for a Job Interview

Interviewing is more than a set of questions. It is a stepping stone to your future, and you want to take that step with confidence. If you have made it to the interview, you have already demonstrated qualities and experience for which the company is looking. Of course, you will prepare yourself to respond to questions. To do so learn to make expertise statements.  But to enhance your chances of success, prepare for a job interview by educating yourself about the company and preparing to ask questions.

The most essential component to a successful interview process is to be prepared! This means that you, as the interviewee, have to do your “homework”.  There is a science as well as an art to the interview process. A diligent prospect knows to learn about the interview processes commonly used in their professional field in advance of the interview. They also know to research and carefully study the job description for the position they are seeking. Then read the company’s history, past and present, to determine where the company stands within the current marketplace. Determine the company’s overall goals in product and/or service specialties, and then establish how the position you are seeking is relative. Having an understanding of the position and the company provides you with the confidence to sound informed, and tells the interviewer that you are proactive, a problem-solver, and a conscientious thinker who came prepared to the interview and should be taken seriously as a candidate for employment. This “homework” on your part demonstrates to the interviewer the kind of diligence and detail-oriented attention you will bring to the position.

Asking questions is also essential to demonstrate your candidacy aptitude and it helps you to transform the interview into a conversation. Be prepared to ask relevant questions that reveal forethought and the targeted research you have conducted about the company and your prospective role.

Prepare several questions ahead of the interview. Consider the following:

(1) “With the competitive environment putting pressure on this company, what is the most significant accomplishment you expect to see from the person you hire to fill this position?” Also, “Within what timeframe should this goal be completed?” Once you open the door with these questions, you can expand on how your experience can benefit the company.

(2) Inquire about the company’s stance on social media and use of technology. Your proficiency in the areas of technology and social media are vital in today’s environment. Ask the interviewer about the company’s technological resources. Be prepared to give examples of how you have used technology and how you have kept yourself up-to-date with technological advances relevant to the position you are seeking. Share how you have used social media to research and market.

Further enhance your interview skills or prepare for a job interview, contact Sandra Zimmer at 281-293-7070 or visit the Self-Expression website at http://www.self-expression.com/.

Written by The Self-expression Center Team

 

How to Respond to the Money Question when Interviewing for Jobs

Be prepared to handle the money question strategically when interviewing for jobs. Here are some tips about how to handle the money question to allow for the best outcome. If you’ve read about how to handle the subject of money during a job interview, you’ve likely learned that you should never bring it up. Most interview experts agree that it is a good idea to let the interviewer bring up the topic of money.  Lisa Quast, a contributing writer at Forbes, provides additional ideas in her article  “How to Answer the Interview Question How Much Money Do You Make?”

However, even when the money subject is broached while interviewing, many people still don’t know how to respond, so it’s a good idea to prepare some options for responding.

If you respond to the money question with a figure that is too low, you might miss out on a lot of money. Yet, if you name a figure that is too high, you might not be offered the position. So what’s the solution? The answer is honesty. Tell the interviewer exactly what you think your skills and experience are worth.

Some people aren’t comfortable specifying a number in response to the money question. If you feel uncomfortable, you can try to deflect the question. However, this carries a bit of risk. Many employers want a direct answer so that they can determine if the two of you agree on your worth. If you’d like to deflect, state that you are open and flexible about your salary.

Instead of deflecting or offering a dollar figure, another option is to state that you’d rather not commit to a salary quite yet. Then stop talking. Be silent and force the interviewer to respond. If you decide to not answer the money question, do it in an upbeat way and with a smile.

Perhaps the best way to respond to the money question is a further approach is to offer a salary range. Tell the interviewer that you don’t have a particular number in mind, but you are looking for something in a range of $X to $Y. The range should not be greater than $10,000. By replying with a salary range, you decrease the chances of ruling yourself out for the position, yet you still let the interviewer know a general idea of how much money you think you are worth.

When interviewing, it’s probably not in your best interest to pinpoint a specific number in response to the money question.    There is no doubt that some employers use the money question to rule out some candidates. Don’t be afraid to deflect or simply not answer until you learn more about the position or until the interviewer offers a number. If you can’t decide between the first three strategies, opt to provide a salary range.  It won’t pigeonhole you into an exact figure but, it will give the interviewer an idea of how much money you feel you’re worth.

If you would like some help with preparing to interview, call us at 281-293-7070 to discuss possible interview coaching.

 

By The Self-Expression Center Team

How to Help the Interviewer Interview You

When you are scheduled to interview with a prospective employer, there are some techniques that can help you be remembered and increase your chances of winning the job. it is important to understand that the interviewer might be just as uncertain as you are. He or she may not have much interviewing experience. Maybe that person didn’t have enough time to review your resume. The interviewer might even be a bit passive just to see which candidate shows the most desire for the job. This is why you should do everything that you can to help the interviewer interview you. With a little preparation you can put this individual at ease, make the job much easier and be able to lead the interviewer into questions that will improve your chances.

If you make the mistake of going into your interview with the mindset of answering only the questions that you are asked, you limit your chances of success. This is the time to be proactive and take every opportunity to highlight your unique strengths, talents and accomplishments. This is your opportunity to sell yourself, to make expertise statements. Don’t be falsely humble and wait for the interviewer to ask you about your strengths and past accomplishments. Implement past successes and areas of expertise into your answers to the interview questions. Just be sure to highlight your attributes in a manner that is relevant to the question that is asked.

A skillful way to help your interviewer is to use transitional phrases at the end of your answers. For example, after you’ve answered a question about your education, tell the interviewer the story of how it prepared you for your first job after graduation. This is almost certain to trigger a follow-up question about your work experience and how it has prepared you for the position for which you are now interviewing. Always end your answers with a transitional phrase that wraps up your answer and shows how your accomplishment or experience can be of benefit in the context of the open position.

Your interviewer most likely will ask you to provide specific examples that show how you’ve dealt with a certain scenario or performed under pressure in the past. Many interviewees dread these types of questions fearing they might not be prepared with applicable experience. Some simply think that their answers won’t be good enough. You can easily prepare stories and examples that demonstrate leadership, performing under pressure and handling conflict so that you feel ready for this kind of question. Don’t wait for these types of questions that require example-laden answers, instead be proactive and weave them into your answers.

You can also help your interviewer by asking some questions of your own. As an example, ask about the types of qualities and talents that the ideal candidate should have. The interviewer will appreciate that you’ve shown an interest in his or her perspective of the position.

If you implement asking questions, using transitional phrases, and using stories and examples to highlight your strengths and past performance and  you have a great chance of transforming the interview into a conversation that the interviewer will remember.

If you’d like more information on how to interview skillfully, give us a call at 281-293-7070 for more information on interview coaching.

By The Self-Expression Center Team

 

Get into a higher state for public speaking

Learn how to get into a higher state by expanding your inner awareness so you can be your best self for public speaking and presentations. Expanding your inner state frees you to be deeply relaxed, feel self-accepting and inclusive of others and to radiate a strong presence.  Experienced performers learn to enter a performance state. You can learn to enhance your performance and presentation skills by developing your ability to enter this same state.

Bill Murray, in an interview on The Howard Stern Show, said, “The more relaxed you are, the better you are. When you get on the stage…you go into like a professional state. Your state changes. You get higher.”

http://www.howardstern.com/news/listen-to-the-bill-murray-and-howard-interview

Garr Reynolds wrote a Presentation Zen blog post on Stern’s interview with Bill Murray. Quoting Garr, “Bill Murray says he learned how to be loose and relaxed through his early improv work at Second City and on National Lampoon Radio, performing in an off Broadway show, etc.…. All of us can learn from the experiences with improvisation, and with performances such as plays and music, etc. This idea of “state” is very important. Over time, with experience, you learn to put yourself into a different state when communicating before an audience.”

I have been teaching speakers, presenters and performers how to get into a higher state for performance and presentations since 1989. In fact, my Zimmer Method approach to speaking authentically is based on getting into a higher state before you try to speak. It does not take a lifetime of experience to learn to get into a higher performance state. Doing a few simple exercises can develop your ability to get into the state that Bill Murray and Garr Reynolds mention. Once you can access this state, you can prepare for your talks and presentations with a warm-up process just like an actor prepares to go onstage or an athlete prepares to get into the “zone” for the game.

What is this higher state mentioned by Bill Murray?

The higher state mentioned by Bill Murray and referenced by Garr Reynolds is the same state that athletes call getting into the zone or that spiritual seekers enter when they focus inwardly in meditation.  A higher state allows for greater flow of psycho-physical energy through the body and an expansion of awareness into more multi-dimensional quality of consciousness. That means you become aware of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of yourself all at the same time. The result of getting into this state is that you feel energized, experience more presence and have more access to your ideas, insights, expertise, talents and gifts. The secret to getting into a higher performance state is a combination of physical exercises to energize the body and inwardly focused mental attention to drop into present-time awareness. Together, they generate relaxation and open up flow of internal energies in your body.

Exercises for getting into a higher state.

I have developed a simple warm-up process that energizes the arms and legs first allowing you to feel a flow of energy in all four extremities. Then, I combine intense breathing with spinal movements to open a flow of energy in the cerebrospinal column.  Next, when the whole body is buzzing with energy, I use a grounding meditation to direct mental attention into all the parts of the body. Grounding in your body causes you to drop into a deeper (or higher) state of awareness which is the same state as athletes in the zone or as actors who are in their stage presence.

Below is a brief list of exercises that I use to develop a higher state for speaking and presenting. For a full description, please see my book It’s Your Time to Shine: How to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking, Develop Authentic Presence and Speak from Your Heart.

  1. Stretch the spine and legs gently to start energy flowing.
  2. Loosen all the major joint areas from the top of the body down. Use random movements to help loosen your neck, then shoulders, elbows, wrists, spine, pelvis, knees and ankles.
  3. Shake each extremity, arms and legs, one at a time allowing the muscles to let go and feel like they turn to liquid. Feel the strong flow of energy after muscle shaking.
  4. Sit on the front edge of a chair. While arching and rounding the spine, breathe in and out rapidly to the count of 20. Then hold your breath and move abdominal muscles first, then loosen chest, then roll shoulders, then roll your neck. Exhale and feel the flow that is streaming through your body.
  5. End with the grounding meditation I have written about in many blog posts. You can also get a copy of an MP3 audio of my grounding exercise.