David Portney at Best Public Speaking Training has written an article on how to Prevent Stage Fright. He has a great idea to meet and greet audience members just before your talk. I have advocated this for many years. I hope I have David’s permission to mention his article and to add to his helpful ideas.
David’s advice about meeting people before your talk allows a speaker to create a genuine connection with listeners. When we feel connected we feel safe to share our ideas.
There is a specific kind of eye contact that makes it feel even safer to connect. I call it a soft-eye contact. By consciously making connection through the use of soft-eyes, you shift from judging others to accepting and receiving them. To make soft-eye contact, relax your eyes, letting the eye muscles feel soft. Then gently land your eyes on one person in your audience, imagining that you are drinking him in through your eyes. Don’t reach out to try to grab the person with your eye contact: that creates a distancing hard-eye contact. Instead, simply be with him and allow yourself to receive the flow of his attention. You will experience taking that person in, as though you are allowing his energy to come in to you. It is an amazing feeling to receive another person! The connection made seems deep, yet comfortable and oddly safe.
Hi Sandra,
Thanks for mentioning me and my strategies in your informative post. I couldn’t agree more with your idea to relax and defocus the eyes when speaking, that technique is very powerful yet so very simple and easy to use!
To those of you with any level of “jitters” about public speaking, using the techniques Sandra and I teach will take from fearful to – and you might find this hard to believe – addicted; you will find yourself addicted to public speaking! A positive addiction to be sure…
Best,
David Portney
This technique sure is new to me. I will try this on my next speaking engagement. Personally, I pump myself up before speaking in public. This helps me prevent having stage fright. We all know that it could happen to anyone at the worst possible time, and when it happens, it really gets ugly. So, what I do is I would completely forget that someone is watching me. I tell myself that the audience is not expecting me to be perfect. I just simply enjoy the show and be an entertaining speaker.
Interesting technique, Sandra. A speaker myself, I look for fascinating suggestions other speakers offer.
In addition to meeting guests prior to the presentation, I tell presenters to imagine they’re having a conversation with the audience. I try to downplay the notion of “speaking” (as in lecturing).
Smaller programs like seminars and workshops are great venues for newer speakers. The intimate setting makes it easier to bond with the audience, thereby minimizinig or greatly reducing fear. Along with that comes the more relaxed eye contact. I’m sure your suggestion will help others.