Zimmer Method for Transforming Stage Fright and Fear of Public Speaking

Posted on by

 

My Zimmer Method approach to helping people to transform stage fright and fear of public speaking has been evolving since 1984.  It began by asking people to stand quietly in front of my acting classes to see if they could just be there at the center of attention.  Most people had great difficulty simply standing quietly in front of the class.  Most experienced some kind of physical, emotional or mental discomfort that prevented them from simply being there and relaxed at the center of attention.

Some people said they felt uncomfortable physical sensations, like a pounding heart, tightening stomach, shaky knees and sweaty palms.  Others said they felt emotional reactions like fear, anxiety, nervousness or awkwardness.  Still others said they thought they should be doing something to entertain us, thought they seemed dumb or were concerned about what others thought about them.   Regardless of their internal reactions, each person seemed to feel some form of self-judgment.  They also expressed the belief that they shouldn’t be feeling what they were feeling.

It was apparent that people needed to be supported to become comfortable being the center of attention so they could express themselves genuinely in front of others.  I followed my intuition in guiding them to focus on their inner tensions rather than avoiding or denying their discomforts.  Participants consistently reported that their discomfort diminished or even dissolved shortly after simply acknowledging their stage fright tension.  Intrigued by this positive result, I asked them to give themselves permission to feel the inner tensions and to accept the feelings.  I asked them not to resist or judge the internal sensations but just to be with those sensations and see what would happen.

The transformations were stunning!  An individual who was stiff and wooden only a minute ago would almost instantly relax into her body.  Someone who was very spacey and “not-present” would suddenly become present before our very eyes and seem to really be there.  We could see the surprised looks of relief and the new willingness to just be at the center of attention.  Suddenly people weren’t hiding and were no longer afraid to stand there.  In fact, they would come alive and reach out to make connection with the group.  They marveled at how good it felt to be the center of attention.  Some didn’t want to sit down; they wanted to continue standing in front of the group.  When people started exclaiming how good it felt to be the center of attention and asking if they could stay in front of the group, I knew I was on to something that needed to be developed and shared!

I am Sandra Zimmer, author and expert on public speaking and transforming fear of speaking and stage fright.  If you would like to learn a holistic, mind, body and spirit approach to learning to speak in groups with a calm sense of presence, please visit www.self-expression.com for more information.

Read More

Changing Your Life Story with Acting

Posted on by

 

My webmaster Kenan Branam happens to be a thought leader about the internet and the future of humanity.  He is always trying to make sense of the world and how we humans live in it.  This cold drizzly Houston morning in December we chatted about a new program I am creating called Your Life Stars YOU!. My new course is a self-expression and self-acceptance program using acting scenes from popular movies to help participants transform their lives to be what they want to be. As we chatted, Kenan poured forth a flow of exciting thoughts and ideas about how we each can change the way we look at ourselves. I am compelled to share some of Kenan’s insights.

 We each see the world and try to make sense of it by matching what we see with our memory and our experiences.  We match what happens to the stories that we tell ourselves based on our experiences.  Storytelling about yourself is essential to your self identity.  In other words, the story you tell yourself about yourself is how you identify yourself.  Your self stories help answer the core questions of Who am I? What am I?  What is my potential?

 But here’s the exciting part!  We create our own life story.  We create our reality by the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.  So we can write new stories about our future.  And we can rewrite stories about our past.  We can literally change the way we look at and live our life by changing our story!  So we can recreate the Self to be the way we want to be.

 One of the fastest ways to rewrite our story is to act out the old stories and the new stories.  Acting is a way to practice behaviors that we want to live.  This is where my new class comes in.  Movies are the most experiential form of communication.  Watching a movie is to feel some of what the actors are portraying. But acting the scenes from the movie is to practice the behavior and make it yours. 

 In my new class, we will identify behaviors we want to experience and express or behaviors that we want to become more comfortable with.  Then we find scenes from popular movies and act out those scenes.  In this wonderfully fun manner, we will start to rewrite our own stories so that we will learn to star in the movies of our own lives.

 If you are intrigued by Your Life Stars YOU! call me at 281-293-7070 or visit the class description at www.self-expression.com.

Read More

Christmas Presence and the Gift of Listening

Posted on by

 

One of my favorite communication experts is Loren Ekroth, Ph.D who is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.  He sends a newsletter that always has a thoughtful and insightful article.  His article this week is on the gift of presence. You can contact him at  www.conversationmatters.com.

Here is the article in it’s entirety.  I hope you enjoy it!

 
One of the finest, most personal gifts we can give
another person during this season is our presence, by
which I mean our “being present to,” or “being with”
another person. This gift is perhaps most poignant when given to
persons who are older, infirm, or isolated.  For them,
one’s living presence offers the possibility of connection
and validation.  As John Donne’s lovely poem asserts, “No man is an island, separate from the main.”  Still, we observe that many people in our society and world experience the feelings of separateness. Hungry for connection, they hunger for our personal presence.Presence is not intrusive.  It does not push or
nudge or prod or probe.  As well, presence does not
judge, or challenge, or impose. When we are present,
we show up, we are aware, and we extend our awareness to the other with our eyes, our ears, and our intuitions. Presence is hospitable and welcoming.  Deep attention and deep listening are the activities of true presence.When a person’s presence is fully available to me during a conversation, I feel touched and appreciated. Even when only I am the one bringing the presence (because the other is troubled or distracted),  I still experience similar feelings.

Everyone has a story to tell, and when we ask others
to share a personal story, they are almost always
invigorated.  I like to ask people to tell me about one of the most memorable Christmas experiences they’ve ever had.  As they recall and tell this personal story, they relive many of the feelings of that experience, and as I listen carefully, I vicariously share in their personal history.
 

(Now as I write this I think of a Christmas in Ferrara,
Italy in 1960, walking through light snow with my friends to deliver hand-made Christmas cards to their neighbors.)

During the holidays we have so many distractions
with phones ringing, FedEx deliveries, timers going off in kitchens, office parties, and last-minute shopping.  Maybe this fragmented situation is what makes personal presence so precious at this time of year: It acts as a healing antidote to our seasonal anxieties and disconnectedness. 

Some people tell me that they resist being more
personal and more generous during the holiday season,
specifically because it’s expected of them.  I suppose
they have a point.  On the other hand, we can use
the busy season as a clear reminder that at this time –
when old feelings are re-stimulated, sometimes
as “the holiday blues,”  by expressing a generosity of
spirit in being present to others.  This can be just the
right thing to do.

Years ago an old and wise friend told me that
elderly people experience a special kind of loneliness
because they almost always have lots of regrets for
times they didn’t come through in life.  The times
they didn’t say what was needed, the times they didn’t
make the courageous choice, the times they didn’t
seize an opportunity before it passed them by.  When
we are present to these people without judgment,
they once again can feel validated and worthy.  

So we can take a breath and center ourselves as we approach family, friends, and colleagues.  Strangers,
too.  (Smile and tell the harried store clerk, “You’re doing a good job, and I appreciate your help.”  Now we are ready to give others the gift of our attentive presence at the same time we give them other physical gifts.  And we’ll all be better for having shared of ourselves.

 From The Better Conversations Newsletter by Loren Ekroth. Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2009. All Rights reserved.  Loren Ekroth is the creator of resources like “Better Family Conversation Kit” and “Class Reunion Conversation Kit.” For a free subscription to the Better Conversations newsletter, visit www.conversationmatters.com

Read More

Taking Time to Process the Tension of Stage Fright and Fear of Speaking

Posted on by

 

Over several years, I developed a pattern for the process that guides people safely and slowly into healing stage fright so they feel free to share their thoughts and feelings in all kinds of situations.  Even more remarkably, this process awakens in people a powerful and authentic presence that radiates from them.  However, this system is not a quick fix – it takes time and requires a specific set of progressive steps. 

 It takes about six sessions just to develop the pattern of the Speaking from the Heart process. Those initial sessions are needed to establish safety in the group and to lay the groundwork for experiencing the process together.  You can’t rush the process.  A choice to take more time and go more slowly is always better than a choice to go faster.   Going too fast and feeling too much emotional intensity is part of what creates stage fright in the first place.  Our minds think they can handle more intensity and do things faster but our bodies react by contracting in fear.  Speaking from the Heart slows you down enough that your mind can integrate with your body and feelings, so you learn that it’s safe to be your real self in front of others and just be there with them.

Read More

The Mind-Body-Emotion Connection in Fear of Public Speaking and Stage Fright

Posted on by

 

Stage fright is fear of feeling in front of others.  It is the fear of revealing that you are human and that you have human emotions that are not always positive. It is fear of being seen for who you truly are.  Becoming the center of attention also triggers feelings of shame – shame simply for being who you are. 

 Stage fright comes from the belief that you should be perfect, and that somehow you are not only not perfect, but far from being even barely just good enough.  These feelings set up the devastating expectation that you are going to be judged as lacking or less valuable than others.  The voice of stage fright says, “Something is fundamentally wrong with you.  Everybody else is OK, but are not.”

 If you have a lot of stage fright, you have absorbed this belief and expectation at a deep level.  Therefore, you will need to change it at a deep level.  It is important to understand that you did not absorb this belief and expectation because there is something wrong with you.  Rather, you absorbed it because there is something very right with you: you are sensitive, and your sensitivity is a valuable gift that you have to give to others.  Your task is to claim your sensitivity and passion, putting them to work for you, so that you can give your gifts to others, sharing your ideas, awareness, expertise and talents.

 David Wheaton is a very sensitive man who participated in Speaking from the Heart.  A gifted salesman, he was terrific with people one-on-one, and was so likable that he effortlessly closed million-dollar sales of drilling equipment.  Powerful executives sensed his integrity and trusted him enough to make huge investments on his recommendation. 

 When it came to speaking to groups, however, his anxiety made him feel like he would jump out of his skin.  His blocked-up passion generated great heat in his body, and he sweated profusely, a source of great humiliation over the years.  During his Speaking from the Heart groups, he began to bring towels to class to mop up the puddles of perspiration.  It became a class joke, and as he learned to make fun of himself, he realized nobody cared about his sweat.  It was not a big deal to anyone but him.  He had so much fun with his sweating that it ceased to be a humiliation and became the source of self-deprecating humor.  Now he doesn’t sweat the sweat. All the warmth of his likable personality comes across in his talks to groups, just as it had in one-on-one sales presentations. His attention is now focused on telling his delightful stories about sales success, and he feels free to speak in front of groups.

Posted by Sandra Zimmer
www.self-expression.com
Twitter @sandrazimmer

Read More

9 Steps to Scripting A Story by Doug Stevenson

Posted on by

 

Storytelling is the way to capture attention, engage listeners, free your self-expression, persuade listeners and make your ideas stick. I believe that storytelling is the most valuable presentation skill you can learn.

 My friend Doug Stevenson is a master at teaching storytelling for business purposes.  Doug has written a definitive article on how to craft an effective story.  He identifies 9 steps to scripting a story.  Run, don’t walk to his site to grab a copy of his article! 

 Doug is the creator of The Story Theater Method. You can also visit his Media Gallery and watch videos on: http://www.storytelling-in-business.com/.  While you’re there, sign up for his complimentary Story Theater Newsletter. 

For support on tellings tories, being persuasive or feeling comfortable speaking to groups, visit the articles on my website. Or check out my book It’s Your Time to Shine: How to Transform Fear of Public Speaking, Develop Authentic Presence and Speak from Your Heart.  You can download Chapter 1.

Read More

What Happens in Stage Fright & Fear of Public Speaking

Posted on by

 

When you do become the center of attention, there is only one thing to do: try to exit the situation by leaving your body.  If you can’t get out of the situation by avoiding the event, then you try to avoid the sensations felt inside.  The way to avoid the sensations is to leave your physical body by abandoning your awareness of it.  This abandonment of the physical self occurs instantly and unconsciously.

What happens is that your mind withdraws full awareness from of body in an attempt to avoid intense emotions.  You “go into your head.”  Energetically, your awareness is drawn up into your head, so that it becomes over-stimulated with energy and sensation.  Your head literally feels like it is swelling.  From the neck down, you tighten the body in order to freeze the flow of feeling.  If the body gets tense enough, it will shake in order to restore a flow of energy through the body. And it all happens so quickly that you can’t stop it.  It is as if you are trying to zoom out of the top of your head to get away from the sensation of stage fright. 

Suddenly, you are no longer present; you no longer have awareness of being in your body.  Your awareness is somewhere else.  Your body is standing there and your mouth may be speaking the words, but you are gone. You are no longer being there!

I remember the first time I experienced these sensations.  I was in the fifth grade and I had decided to join the band.  My parents bought me a shiny silver flute which I tried to learn to play.  But, try as I might, I could not understand the concept of notes.  Every day at practice, the band director would stop practice and try to explain.  He would kneel in front of me and focus all his attention on trying to explain notes to me while all the kids watched.  I was embarrassed and humiliated.  Each day, I had the same strange reaction to the situation.  It was as if the room filled up with water and he was talking to me underwater.  I could not hear him because I could not stay present and face what seemed to be a humiliation.

Since then, I have experienced many uncomfortable and strange reactions to being the center of attention.  Almost always, I would tremble and shake with a terrible force.  Sometimes, my awareness would seem to be outside my body as if I were watching myself from a distance.  Often I just became stiff and wooden, robot-like in my presentation.  Sometimes I felt as if I were struck dumb.  Now I understand these were all ways of avoiding the situation by leaving my body.  I would simply go “un-present” whenever I was faced with a difficult situation.

In becoming un-present, you choose not to be there. The mental part of your awareness withdraws from the physical and emotional parts, because you cannot stand to experience the fear, discomfort and shame felt in your body.  Your mind perceives the situation as a dire threat to your very survival.  This splitting off of your mind from body and emotions leaves you feeling disoriented and dis-integrated.  Your head may feel swollen and fuzzy, so filled with buzzing energy that you cannot think clearly.  Your body loses strength and stability.  Since your muscles are not relaxed, your body begins to shake and tremble in an attempt to get energy flowing. I am sure you can describe many more symptoms that occur, including sweaty palms, fat tongue, neck and face flushing, heart pounding, loss of breath and a high, squeaky voice.

There is no way to do a great presentation or performance or to communicate effectively in this un-present and dis-integrated state.  To regain your potential, you must begin to re-integrate the different aspects of yourself amid the intensity of being the center of attention.  You must learn to stay present so that you have your whole self, with all your parts working together, when you present, perform or communicate in front of others.  This is the task, and though it seems daunting, it is not as difficult as you might expect.

Read More

Healing Stage Fright & Fear of Public Speaking by Telling the Truth

Posted on by

 

The secret to healing stage fright is to focus attention into your fear, into the sensations of tension inside your body.  Once you do that, you will find that the experience is not as bad as you expected.  Inside yourself, you can relax into the tension and discover a new, safe ground within your own body, a quiet place of power and presence that has always been there, waiting for you to access it.  And when you do make connection with this internal realm, passion-energy starts to flow through your body and you are freed up to speak, perform or communicate from a deeper level.

 If you pay close attention to how you feel during stage fright, you will notice that the feeling is very familiar, and about as old as your earliest memories.  It is the same feeling that you had when you were a small child – powerless, overwhelmed by the larger world and totally dependent on others for your very survival.  The only possible survival strategy was to please those who could nurture and protect you, and more often than not, that meant hiding your true self, lest anyone become displeased or disappointed with the real you.

 Tune in carefully, and you will experience that you actually feel like a small child when you become the center of attention.  I think it is this “small child” feeling that people are so reluctant to experience in front of others.  It feels so powerless, like we have no control. When we bring our mature consciousness to the same situation, the feeling of helplessness is almost too much to bear, so we leave our bodies.

 Without realizing it, we often automatically project the image of a critical, negative parent onto the audience, granting them tremendous authority to reject us (most assuredly, we believe) or accept us (hardly a chance of that, we feel).  We just assume they will respond to us with the same critical judgment we experienced as children, no matter that the audience is most likely friendly and excited to hear what we have to say!

 To heal stage fright, you have to relax at the center of attention and reclaim the openness and innocence of a small child.  Even someone who faced the worst barrage of criticism as a child still has a primordial place of innocence within, waiting to be uncovered and re-energized to empower the adult he or she has become. 

 Reclaiming this state of innocence simply means to accept the truth of your feelings and thoughts in front of others.  It means to drop the mask of adulthood so that you can stand present as you are before a group and really be there.  When you can drop the mask, you feel free to share your real thoughts, feelings, insights and awareness with others.  Only then can you truly heal stage fright.

Read More

Seeing Stage Fright in a Different Light

Posted on by

 

 Begin to imagine your stage fright as emotional energy or passion that is not flowing freely through your body, and then you can learn to channel that pent-up passion into a genuine connection with your listeners.  That may sound impossible, but it is what you can learn through The Zimmer Method.

 Every symptom of stage fright and every bit of tension that you experience provides a piece of information to help you to become more free to be yourself –no matter where you are, who you are with or how many people are present.  You can literally transform your stage fright into a powerful presence that radiates to others.  You can become someone who speaks with such authenticity that your very presence touches others on an unspoken level and gives them permission to be as genuine as you are.

 The secret is not in public speaking mechanics.  Rather it is in becoming authentic in front of others.  Once you feel safe to be who you are in front of others, stage fright is no longer a problem.

Read More

If You Have Stage Fright, You Can Be A Great Speaker

Posted on by

 

You won’t believe me now, but it’s a good thing to have stage fright.  In fact, the more stage fright you have, the better presenter or performer you can become, and the more potential you have to be a deeply impacting communicator and speaker!   The reason is that you have the feelings.  Your feelings are at the surface where they can be used to create a genuine emotional connection with the audience.

 In my Speaking from the Heart classes, it is always the person who has the most stage fright who becomes the most affecting and inspiring speaker.  Take Brenda Wind for instance, Brenda came to my class after a long court battle over sexual harassment that had destroyed her self-confidence.  In her first class, Brenda was so terrified to speak in front of her eight classmates (most of whom were just as anxious as she was) that her whole body trembled uncontrollably.  To stand in front of her small group was at first deeply frightening, because so much past emotion from the court battle was brought to the surface of her awareness.  Her body was wracked with the intensity of her emotion. 

 Slowly, over several weeks of classes, Brenda began to give herself permission to experience all her feelings and to share them with her classmates.  Most felt similar discomfort, so they accepted her intense feelings and accepted her for having them.  As she embraced all her emotions, Brenda felt safe to experience them in front of her group.  Those emotions, that seemed so negative and created such tension, loosened into a flow of feeling that turned into excitement, enthusiasm and passion to share.  She freed her pent-up passion, making it available to use in her speaking. 

 Just a few months after her first class, Brenda strode confidently onto the stage of the elegant Wortham Theatre, home to Houston’s world-class opera and ballet companies.  She was there to share her story with 300 women and a handful of men at the “Women Supporting Women Conference,” which she had co-produced.  As Brenda stood onstage, receiving support from her audience, she consciously chose to claim her space at the center of their attention.  To her amazement, she was filled with the emotion of excitement as she began her story.  The next day, the Houston Chronicle declared her talk “the most  affecting and riveting of the entire conference.”

 For the rest of her life Brenda will be able to share her insights and ideas with groups of all sizes, and her story is similar to hundreds of other transformations I have witnessed as people go through the Speaking from the Heart process.  It can be your story too.

Read More