Love is the Answer to Stage Fright & Fear of Public Speaking

Posted on March 23, 2008October 31, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

I chanced upon a fantastic website unconditionalconfidence.com. Nancy Tierney is the author of this site. She has made similar discoveries about stage fright and fear of public speaking as I have. Her blog is full of great ideas and insights! For instance she says “The fear of speaking in public could be cured with a healthy dose of love and respect for yourself.” I so agree! The fear and tension triggered by speaking in front of others is absolutely related to lack of love for oneself. In stage fright, we are focusing too much on what they, the audience, might think about us and our capability instead of focusing on what we have to offer listeners. When we are able to love ourselves, accept ourselves and share our energy and insights, then fear dissolves.

Nancy offers some steps to move you towards falling in love with yourself which I encourage you to read at her blog. Her tips are excellent but way too big for most people to just do quickly. If you could just switch on the love for yourself in front of an audience, you would be cured instantly. My experience is that realistically it is going to take a process of transformation to uncover the feeling of love for yourself in front of others. You must go through a process of releasing the fear and tension that occurs when you become the center of attention. As Nancy knows, this tension is just energy in the body. It is getting blocked along different points of the body creating an experience of great discomfort to the point that you may not be willing to stay present while speaking in front of others.

In my programs, we create an emotionally safe group where each participant can have the chance to explore the tension of being the center of attention in front of the group. The process of curious exploration causes the tension to transform into a bodily-felt sense of flow and the energy moves through the body. Then the energy that had been tension and that was blocking our authenticity and distracting us from speaking freely now feels wonderful! Once we release the inner tension, what we find underneath is love flowing through us. Love is what we are, all of us – living energy of love expressing through a physical body. And once we connect with the love that is in all of us, we become energized with a joy to share our ideas, insights, talents and expertise. The love buoys our spirit and the words flow freely. If you want to experience your own love for yourself as well as for your audiences, consider participating in a Speaking from the Heart class or workshop.

Being Bolder When We Speak in Groups

Posted on March 20, 2008October 31, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

I have been teaching my Zimmer Method for unleashing natural speaking potential for 20 years. Over the years, people have said I should be more bold in speaking about my method. It has taken a long time to soak into my consciousness. I guess I am a slow learner, but I always felt that people would sense the value of my program if I just told them about it simply and honestly.

With more boldness, I tell you now about the power of the process I have developed in the past 25 years. This weekend, I held a workshop for seven people on the basics of the Zimmer Method – building comfort in your skin in front of others, creating genuine connection by opening to receive the flow of attention from audiences and thinking on your feet to share your passion. The workshop was only a Saturday for 8 hours and a Friday night for 3 hours, not a long workshop at all. Yet, the results for the participants were amazing! In this short time, they all relaxed into being who they are in front of the group. They all spoke authentically from their hearts to share their ideas and stories. But, what amazed me the most was how much they really opened to speak from their souls! The spiritual resonance that filled the room was awesome. All the participants surprised themselves as they shared stories and concepts that came from the deepest places inside them.

And this is the magic! We all have it in us to speak from soul – to unleash the potential to speak with passion so that we touch listeners in a deep way. The secret is simply to get the tension out of the way. What they did in the workshop was to take turns standing at the center of attention silently. Then, they focused attention on the tension of being the center of attention. By simply sharing what they experienced in their inner climate, the tension dissolved. After a few rounds of this process, they all felt very free to share their ideas, insights and expertise.

One man revealed an experience of enlighhtenment where he was touched by God, a moment that changed his life for the better. Through his willingness to share this very powerful experience, he was set free to speak with more passion and presence than he ever expected. His comment later was that he had found what he came to find – the state of being in the “zone” that he had experienced in playing golf and knew was possible in speaking but had not been able to find… until this weekend.

So, with more boldness than I ever expressed, I say that this is the solution to stage fright and fear of public speaking! This can make a big difference in your life if you are withholding your ideas in front of others. If you know you have more to give than you are allowing yourself to express, please stay tuned to my blog. I will try to share as much as I can about what to takes to heal stage fright and overcome feear of public speaking, so you cna feel free to give your gifts to the world to make a difference.

Develop Presence through Grounding in Your Body

Posted on March 17, 2008October 31, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

Presence is a hot topic right now with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle doing a 10-session course on A New Earth via webinar each Monday night at Oprah.com. Now this is very exciting to me, as I have been teaching speakers, communicators and performers to develop presence for many years. In Class 2 of the Oprah.com webinar, Eckhart teaches a simple mindful breathing exercise as an entre into discovering presence. It is, of course, a valuable exercise, but a very basic one. Much more effective, is a Grounding Exercise that grounds you in your body and relaxes you deeply into the present moment. Both Oprah and Eckhart have a strong presence, meaning they resonate a star-quality presence that others can sense and are attracted to. It also means they spend lots of time being present in the moment.

This is, in fact, the secret of all stars in any field – they have the ability to be present. The way into the state of presence is through the body, through giving attention to being in your body and to consciously flowing energy through the body. Here is a brief instruction on how to ground yourself for a star-quality presence. You may use this exercise to calm and center you before a speech or important meeting. Or you may use it to develop the spiritual sense of presence that Eckhart is teaching the whole world about.

Start by sitting with your feet flat one the ground. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and focus your attention inside the bones of your head. Notice the energy that is buzzing in your head. Then, imagine you flow or drain that energy down through your neck, into your chest, into your diaphragm area, into your pelvis, around your hip joints, down through your thighs, around your knees, down through your calves, around your ankles and into your feet. Then notice the energy at the arches of your feet. You may feel it tingle or pulsate there, and finally drop that energy deeply into the ground to anchor your feet to the ground.

If you want an audio version of Grounding that really relaxes you deeply into your body and into the present moment, you can find it as a CD or downloadable audio file at www.self-expression.com.

I would like to teach the world to ground, because it has helped transform my life, as a human being and as a communicator, speaker and performer. If you try it, let me know how it goes and what it does for you.

The Winning Difference for Presentations and Performances

Posted on March 14, 2008October 30, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

I’d like to tell you a story. It’s a story that helps people see what is different about the Zimmer Method for presentation, public speaking and performance. It’s a story about my client, Tyrone and his success.

Tyrone Moncriffe is a criminal defense attorney who was one of the first lawyers I trained. When Tyrone came to me he complained that he could not connect with his jury panels – in fact he pushed them away and alienated them, making it hard to win cases. Tyrone learned what I call subtle communication skills – to ground himself and be present with listeners, to open himself to receive his audiences and to tell his stories simply from the heart. These subtle skills transformed the way he practiced law in court so that he won most of his trials. This way of being with them created such a connection with jurors that at the end of trials, the jury members often wanted to talk with him for hours about the case… because they felt he was their friend.

In 1995, Tyrone decided to challenge his speaking abilities by entering an international speech competition at the International Platform Association. Every summer the IPA holds a three-stepped speaking competition in Washington DC. They had been doing so for over 100 years when Tyrone signed up to compete. He prepared his three talks and asked me to coach him in the little spare time he was not in court. I mostly reminded him of what he already knew how to do. He flew off to Washington DC to compete against 75 other speakers from around the world.

At the end of his first speech, at first there was a mesmerized silence, then applause, then everyone gathered round him. The audience, the judges and even other contestants asked him what he was doing differently. They could sense he was doing something different than the other 75 contestants. At the end of his second speech…the same thing happened.

At the end of the 3^rd round with only 7 finalists, Tyrone had the highest score and won the whole thing. He was the first person to win the first time he competed in the 140-year history of The International Platform Association. He later told me that he had been able to watch the 6 other finalists. They were great speakers. They had great material. But he said, “There was something missing – true audience connections.” Not one of them had been grounded enough to magnetize the audience to them. Tyrone had been able to ground himself, open up his spiritual energy and connect with the souls of the audience. He said he felt “at one with them.”

That was the winning difference. Tyrone was being with that audience and those judges rather than performing for them. The Zimmer Method draws out each person’s natural abilities to speak authentically and be with listeners. No matter who you are, how tense you are about speaking in front of others or what kind of talks you wish to give, you have a natural gift that can be freed up.

Why My Process for Transforming Stage Fright Works

Posted on March 12, 2008October 16, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

The magic of the Zimmer Method is in providing a safe space where people can go through their tensions and release them. Permission to feel is healing; it is that simple. The only way out of the tensions is to go through them. Instead of making the tensions wrong, we create a group where there is permission to experience and express the tensions.

I believe you need a group to do this healing. Since stage fright is about fear of feeling in front of others, it can best be healed when there are others to nurture and support your feelings. The great power of this method is that you develop permission to be who you are in front of others. It happens gradually and gracefully as the group gives you permission to feel whatever you feel. It happens without having to analyze where the fear came from. You simply contact the sensations in your body and share them as they are being experienced in front of the group. Sometimes a speaker will get information about where his or her fears started, but it doesn’t matter if you never understand the origin. What matters and what heals is the simple act of being real with your feelings in front of others and receiving acknowledgment and acceptance from others. The healing occurs because you are clearing emotional blockage from your body. I used to think that you had to thoroughly understand your issues to heal them, but now I believe healing is just a matter of having the freedom and permission to experience the emotions that got stuck in the body. Once you accept the feeling and you can share it with others without self-judgment, then the feeling clears and you are free of the issue. When you are free to feel in front of others, you are free to be yourself. You can relax into just being who you are, wherever you are. There is no greater freedom!

Unique Approach to Helping People Heal Stage Fright & Fear of Public Speaking Has Evolved Since 1984

Posted on March 9, 2008October 16, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

My approach to helping guide people to transform their stage fright has been evolving since 1984. It began by asking people to stand quietly in front of my performance classes to see if they could just BE at the center of attention. Most people had great difficulty simply standing quietly in front of the class. Some people said they felt uncomfortable physical sensations, like a pounding heart, tightening stomach, shaky knees and sweaty palms. Others said they felt emotional reactions like fear, anxiety, nervousness or awkwardness. Still others said they thought they should be doing something to entertain us, were afraid to seem dumb or were concerned about what others thought about them. Regardless of their internal reactions, each person clearly felt some form of self-judgment.

I realized that people needed to be supported to become comfortable being the center of attention. I thought I could facilitate that process. I followed my intuition and asked people to focus on their inner tensions rather than avoiding or denying their discomforts. Participants consistently reported that their discomfort diminished or even dissolved shortly after simply acknowledging their stage fright tension. Intrigued by this positive result, I asked them to give themselves permission to feel the inner tensions. I also asked them not to resist or judge the internal sensations but just to “be with” those sensations and see what would happen.

The transformations were stunning! An individual who was stiff and wooden only a minute ago would almost instantly relax into her body. Someone who was very spacey and “not-present” would suddenly become present before our very eyes. We could see the surprised looks of relief and the new willingness to just be there at the center of attention. Suddenly people weren’t hiding and were no longer afraid to stand there. In fact, they would come alive and reach out to connect with the group. After a while, they began to marvel at how good it felt to be the center of attention. Some didn’t want to sit down; they wanted to continue standing in front of the group. When people started exclaiming how good it felt to be the center of attention and asking if they could stay in front of the group, I knew I was on to something that needed to be developed and shared! For more about my approach, please visit my websites, www.self-expression.com and www.TransformStageFright.com.

Authenticity and Fear of Public Speaking

Posted on March 5, 2008October 16, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

Authenticity is an important key for clear and effective communication, both in one to one situations and in front of groups. If you want to be an excellent communicator, your style of communication must be genuine.

Being authentic means that your outer expression matches your inner experience. When you are authentic, you give yourself (and others)permission to express thoughts and emotions honestly.

Why is authenticity important? It is because your degree of comfort is related to the degree of authenticity you allow yourself to express. That means when you are committed to being genuine, you are more relaxed and comfortable with yourself. Conversely, your fear is locked up in your reluctance to be real. When you do not give yourself permission to be real, there will always be tension and a sense that you need to protect yourself from being “found out”.

Stage fright and fear of public speaking are examples of what happens when we are not willing to be authentic. The tension that happens in stage fright is partly because people feel that they can’t be real in front of groups. They may be very comfortable speaking one to one with others because they can be genuine, but they don’t give themselves the same permission to be real in front of groups of people. I like to say that stage fright is fear of feeling in front of folks. Somehow, people with stage fright edit out their authentic selves when they have to speak to groups. Once, you can express your self authentically in front of others, stage fright diminishes and we feel free to share ideas, insights and expertise.

Transform Stage Fright Into Authentic Presence.

Helping People Feel Free to Share Their Ideas

Posted on March 4, 2008October 16, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

I gotta crow! Last night after Transform Stage Fright into Natural Presence class, one of my students, Ashwini, exclaimed how this class is transforming her life! She recalled how as a young person in India, she had been an excellent dancer; so much so that her teacher had wanted her to dance at center stage during performances. She had protested and demanded to be placed at the back where she could hide from the spotlight. Since then, Ashwini opined that she had missed so many opportunities to shine! Now she said that she was eager to jump at opportunities to share her ideas and stories at her job. Another student, Kendrick, overheard Ashwini and chimed in that he felt exactly the same. He was so excited to share his ideas, to be onstage and make a difference. He knew that after only 4 class sessions, he was going to have a different life in the future. Now, I have heard these comments for almost twenty years. But still, I am thrilled when my clients begin to get excited about how much they have to give and want to give their ideas, insights and expertise. Both Ashwini and Kendrick started class four weeks ago complaining that they felt so fearful to speak up. Both are going to make huge contributions to the world now, because they have insights that will help transform others. And I get to say that my program has made a difference in their lives and the lives of all those whom they will touch in the coming decades. This program has come from my own pain. I was just like my two clients Ashwini and Kendrick. I felt so held back, so unable, so afraid to share my ideas and my talents. So, I created a program that supports people to open to be who they are at the front of a room so they feel free to express and share themselves fully. My program gives the kind of support that I needed as a young person and as an adult to help freedom of expression. So, my program, which was born of my own fear and anxiety, now transforms lives in the way I had needed to be transformed. I could not be happier… unless I could guide every person who feels help back through this program! If you are out there feeling stuck in fear and anxiety about speaking or presenting in front of others, I invite you to check out my website at www.self-expression.com and see if there is something here to transform your life as it is doing for Ashwini and Kendrick.

The Simon Cowell Acid-Test for Authenticity

Posted on March 2, 2008October 16, 2014 by Sandra Zimmer

On February 19^th 2008, I watched the opening of American Idol’s twelve male singers. Every man had a great voice and strong energy. What I found interesting was the reaction and feedback from judge Simon Cowell. Of the twelve performers, Simon liked two of them. Simon has a nose for authenticity in singers! If you have watched the show, you know how abrasive Simon can be in his feedback. I don’t like how he expresses his opinion, but I often agree with his assessment of authenticity. I can see his gut react when a singer is performing inauthentically, even when that singer is a good “performer.” Simon Cowell said something this show that I found to be powerful. He said that the show American Idol is about finding a genuine recording artist. He meant that the winner has to have an authentic voice, not just a great voice, but a style that is new, fresh and unique. He is looking for a singer who can be, just BE himself and express who he is. Now, this lights me up! This is the field in which I delight to coach performers and presenters! In my opinion as a coach for over 20 years, there is a big difference between someone who is performing and someone who is being onstage. A real star is someone who is totally present in the moment, feeling his emotions in the moment he is singing, not manufacturing or copying feelings, but genuinely being in his feelings. Many people can perform, but few can BE onstage. Being is the “Zone” for singers and for speakers, actors, musicians and presenters. The way to develop this zone is to start by practicing presence – which means to relax deeply into your body, learn what it feels like to ground fully in your body and then to sing (or speak) with total attention to the words, the meaning and the emotional energy created in your body. When you tune into the emotional energy that can be felt in the body, you can follow the flow of feeling as you sing. Express that! Sing that! And you can pass the Simon Cowell acid-test of authenticity. I offer a grounding exercise that helps you develop presence so you can BE at the center of attention. It is an antidote to stage fright and a tool to support you to be comfortable in your skin when you become the center of attention, whether that is onstage, in a group meeting, a social gathering or presenting at a business function. To get a copy of my Grounding Exercise, visit my website at www.self-expression.com.

Presence, the Antidote for Stage Fright & Fear of Public Speaking

Posted on February 27, 2008March 9, 2015 by Sandra Zimmer

The opposite of stage fright and performance anxiety is presence. Presence is a state of being present in the moment. It is an experience of being saturated with awareness of yourself. It is a state of integration, where physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of yourself are aligned and working together. In a state of presence you pull yourself together rather than allowing your consciousness to be scattered and fragmented.

As the eastern sages say, presence is a sense of being here now. But where is here and now? Where do you have to have your attention focused to be here and now? The answer is in your body. The only place in time and space where you can be totally present is in your body. So, presence has something to do with relaxing fully into your physical body. You experience a full-body sense of awareness.

When you are deeply relaxed and present, some very positive things happen with your mind, emotions and spirit as well as your body. Mentally you can think clearly; your thinking is clear, confident and focused. Physically of course, you feel whole, strong, solid and contained. Emotionally, you feel in control of your emotional states, and, it is much easier to express your emotions. In the state of presence, you have access to your whole self, and you can bring your whole self to your presentations, communications and performances. You are integrated.

Grounding in your body creates and develops presence. Grounding is an exercise that you can learn and practice. In my next post, I will explain grounding in your body. Meanwhile, if you would like a Grounding Exercise to develop a grounded presence, you will find one on my website at http://www.self-expression.com/audio_video.shtml.